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Can a 32 year old female and a 55 year old male be friends?

We are both married (me for 12 yrs and he for 18 yrs) and were sexually attracted to each other a year ago, but decided to remain faithful to our spouses. I still feel like he is trying to "swoon" me though. He is uncomfortable playing Scrabble or something fun online with me and is just not acting like a friend. I can't help but feel like he is keeping me around hoping one day I will cave and have sex with him. He is such a sweet person, so I am feeling like maybe it is just me that is having a hard time accepting this friendship? I asked him what he was getting out of this friendship, and he said he has a natural curiosity about people and he likes me as a person. But he doesn't seem to have any fun with this friendship - he is still so reserved and trying to impress me all the time. I dunno. Any opinions on what a 55 year old man is thinking? Sorry for the novel. ~My hang-up is I feel like he is still trying to put his best foot forward which isn't normal in a true friendship. ~I was the one that said I could no longer pursue a romantic relationship and it crushed him - he couldn't work for 2 weeks....that was a year ago. ~We have been friends for over 3 years now. ~My husband knows about our friendship and is fine with it - his wife knows NOTHING about me (she is high-society and VERY wealthy-they signed a pre-nup). ~We both have happy marriages - so he says.....if something was wrong in his life, I don't think he would tell me because he would think that was a sign of weakness. ~I have 3 kids, him none (by choice he says). ~No, I do not want an extra-marital affair....I have the greatest hubby on the planet. ~I am a control freak and can't stand the idea of being kept on a long string if that is what my friend is doing. I have talked to him about it and he swears we are friends and he has moved on. Maybe it is the age gap.

Public Comments

1. he is wanting sex.mabye a freindship also.but definatly SEX no matter how u try to justify him.u should have nothing to do with him.



2. i feel that, he is only interested for sex.



3. Nope, reading all that you cannot ever be "just friends", at least he cant anyways. You of course know whether or not you can be faithful, you cannot control how he acts, only to a point. I say don't tempt fate. Sounds to me like there could be trouble in the future if the two of you have these feelings in the first place.



4. i read this article one day that this 16 year old girl was meeting a guy online. he sounded so sweet, but he went to her house and watched tv. he just started to kiss her and went extreme. he got her preganant. he was also in to her little 10 year old sis.



5. I beleive men and women of all ages can be friends. But if you feel that he is only being friendly towards you because he wants you to give in to the "feelings" yall "were" having, then you need to think twice about whether u want him as a friend. Also if he is not a friend that you can talk to you husband about than he really shouldnt have any involvement in your life as friend or anything else. Thats my take on it.



6. As long as everything is still working properly, which it sounds like it does, then he's thinking the same thing every man is thinking. Maybe he's getting bored with his wife and needs some fresh young thing to spice up his life. Maybe he just likes the idea that it might be a possibility some day. For me, the chase was always the best part. I'm married now too, but for a while I liked to see if I still had it and just talked to girls in bars. I don't do it now b/c I didn't see how it could be taken wrong, but that's beside the point. Basically, if I were you, I wouldn't put myself in a situation where I had to decide if I wanted to cave... just to be on the safe side.



7. Think about your family you have are married for 12 years and you probably have kids too (because you don’t mention this in question). Just stop talking to him if he is sexually attracted towards you. If you both are just friends and playing games online there is nothing wrong in it and when ever he tries to impress you just ignore it and behave normal. Just remember you have you own family and he also has his own family.



8. He wants to be more than friends, all men do



9. who made the initial decision to stay faithful? If it was him, maybe he does just wanna be friends- but being friends dont always mean enjoying the same things. If YOU were the one who put a halt to the sex stuff- most likely, he just wants to test the waters. He probably still wonders what it would be like.



10. unless you and your husband AND he and his wife all have a nice open relationship agreement, or you two know that nothing can ever happen between you two aside from exchanging words, then the temptation may not be worth it.

    your ages don't matter, the fact of the matter is human nature. it is very hard for any man to have a purely platonic relationship, even though it may "in action" be only 'friends', he and you are both thinking otherwise, and that could lead you to trouble.

    if you are at all happy with your current man and dont feel like losing him or your desire for him and his for you, find another friend, there are almost 6.5 BILLION people on the planet, I'm sure you can make friends with another one...




11. Yes, to me age is just a number. If you have feelings for him, then i would talk to him about it and see if you both are in the same boat. Look at it this way, if you are going to build a relationship, the you would need a foundation, like a house. If no relationship is in the works and thats all he wants, then talk to him flat out. If there is no other connection other then intimacy, then he has to understand that its NOT going any farther. If that doesnt work, then he doesnt want to be friends with you. Men his age are in their prime sex drive peaks so watch out for that.



12. you are asking a rhetorical question. if there is an "attraction" there between you then walk away from it now while its early. i think you like the attention. you shouldn't have been telling another man you are attracted to them first of all. you see what his intentions are so why are you playing with fire?



13. It's not him with the problem, it's you. Quit playing with him. There's a saying, piss or get off the pot. Obviously he is flattered by your attention and vice versa to some extent. Of course he's sexually attracted to. As for his motives, he may have many. The more you toy with him the more he feels you two have a chance. Friendship is not possible at this point. Unfortunately, you two have crossed a no-going-back point.



14. such a situation is pretty common. the male-female dynamics.

    else Life's life will be on the line -- at a fundamental level.

    after hunger...chasing females/opposite sex would be the next thing male genes would have as top priority....

    however only humans have the ability to rise above their genes/natural instincts and able to prioritize values.

    thus balance your rational mind against the instinctive mind. there are pros and cons.

    i would think current marriage would take top priority.




15. question is do you want to have something with this man because from what you are saying it seems you do.

    Are you not happy in the relationship that you are in?

    if this man is offering you friendship take it for what it is but if you are not happy with that leave him alone.




16. May be he is confused and might be in two minds, unable to decide wether to do what. I suggest you both speak openly on this rather than make speculations.